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I grabbed a beer from the table and sat down on the edge of the fire pit as Molly continued. “Ann tells me you have been married 27 years now, and you both have been bored in the bedroom for the last 20. Would you agree?” Had I not been sitting, I would have fallen down. Ann could not hold a five minute conversation with me about sex, and yet this woman we had known for less than three months new things we had not admitted to each other! But she was right. When I got the vasectomy after our daughter was born, I had assumed it was party time. Instead, sex became an afterthought, first for Ann and then for me. There were financial worries and then so many activities. Then there were trips to see family, funerals that had us travelling it seemed like every year, then new responsibilities for extended family. Then college, and on and on it had gone. When we finally found ourselves alone again, we discovered we were strangers without a clue how to do for each other, anything more than. One, results proving she didn't have sex with Roger doesn't mean I will take her back.Two, Roger will have to take the same test and the results of his test will have to agree with hers.Three, I wanted approval on who administers the tests and the questions.Four, I will not pay for the tests.That first condition may have sounded harsh, but I insisted on it. Even if it had been a joke, it was so hurtful that I didn't know that I could ever forgive her. I kept remembering Flo solemnly assuring me that she'd never do anything to hurt me.And then she did this?So I was dead set on going with my gut reaction.Then I had to explain it all to our daughter Patty, who drove down 150 miles from college because Flo had called her and sobbed out a cleaned up version of what had happened and I wasn't taking calls.She said that Flo had told her that it was just a joke. What could be so bad about a little practical joke, she wanted to know. Where was my sense of humor?So first, I had to tell her about.
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